I'm mad

I don't know about you, but sometimes I just get so angry for no reason. Sometimes it's triggered by something little, sometimes it isn't even something that happens it is a memory or something that just makes me super angry and upset. This is me tonight. I don't even really know what I'm angry at or why. I mean I could name a whole bunch of things that frustrate me. I'm mad that I have a 6 page paper and a hebrew exam on friday. I'm mad that I'm not home right now to help my mom pack. I'm mad that it took the doctor 2.5 weeks to get back to me saying that I have sleep apnea. I'm mad that it's going to take another month or so for me to do another sleep study and to get my sleep apnea machine. I'm mad that I can't please everyone. I'm mad that I don't feel good. I'm mad that I never seem to be good enough. I'm mad that God's timing is perfect and it doesn't always go how I want it to go. I'm mad that I'm not happy. I'm mad that I'm mad. I'm mad that I can be so freaking emotional and it gets in the way of my social habits. I'm mad that America is so rich and so is China but we still have little kids dying because they can't get enough food for the day or can't drink clean water. Things that we take for granted. One man's trash is another man's treasure. Why are we so greedy with our "trash"?
With all of this said, sometimes I just get angry and upset. Sometimes things just need to be cried out. I really do believe that the God of the universe hears the sound of my breaking heart. I am so overwhelmed with this world and with things that I have no control over like my emotions. Father I give you full control. Heal my body and heal my heart. Put the pieces of my soul back together because I don't know how much longer I can handle being so fragile. My mom's advice "just do the best that you can and leave it in God's hands." I echo her advice to anyone out there simply searching for answers. Searching to be loved and to be healed. I may not always be so put together, but at the end of the day God's got everything in his hands. And quite frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way.