Can I be Yours now?

To the one who knows no fear,

Great and mighty are You! I could think of You all day and all night! That’s what I’ll do, my Lord. I will meditate on Your lovingkindness. You are gentle and sweet, strong and self-controlled, patient and assertive, unfathomably amazing and full of everlasting grace, merciful and gracious on my imperfect self.

Oh LORD, I can’t even look at You. I am so unworthy and ruined. Why, God? Why do You love me so much? I don’t deserve this life. Yet You bless me moment by moment and Your mercies are new every morning. I can never repay You, great lover of my soul. My soul is covered in layer after layer of dirt. I can hardly even see Your spirit under it all. I can’t see through this dirt and I don’t want You to see what I’ve made of this soul You have so graciously given me. I don’t deserve to be seen by You, I never have deserved it. But You keep pursuing me, why? What do You see in me? I’m not special, I’m no diamond. I’m a stone. A grey, hard, ugly stone. But You’re melting me with Your tender warmth. You are melting this heart of stone and I try to fight it. I want to be tough, I don’t feel like crying today, Love. But oh it is so nice that you care. It feels so good to be pursued by You. Can I melt into Your arms now, Love? I’ve pretended to be okay for too long. I want You. You and only You. Empty me, Love. Take my dirt. Take my shame, my pride, my insecurities. Take it all. Take whatever I have and give me Love. Empty me of anything that isn’t You. Oh, how this hurts, Love. But it is beyond worth it.

I love you.