Pardon my mess

This messy room is a reflection of my imperfection in this life.

I swear I try but I can't get anything right.
Lord, I really need to talk to you.
Tell me, God, can really help me make it through?
I don't know where to go
and you say just to follow
but I don't even know which way is up
so how could you ever fill my cup?
I wanna just say screw it
and go back to the old
but we both know I barely survived
who knew hell was so cold.
You picked me up when I was down
but now I'm up and feel like I can't be found.
I guess I achieved my goal
at being invisible
But yet I feel like your eyes are burning through my skin
Lord, don't let me fall again.
I just want to do what you want me to do
how can I do that when I'm not even loving you?
How can I fully love you if I don't love your creation?
I feel like I'm on the road to eternal damnation.
I'M SCREAMING OUT TO YOU
don't you hear my cry?
I'm believing these lies that he keeps telling me.
You're worthless, you're ugly, you're shouldn't even be.
He's way too loud
and way too proud
put a mute on his bridge
He's not the soloist
and you're the conductor
so give him the order
Make him leave me alone
because I feel like stone
Stuck in the same place
not able to turn my face.
I need You now
just show me how.