Re-learning my value

So, I haven't blogged in a while obviously but I just really need to get this off my chest.

Some people think that I am not insecure about anything. But, a lot of you know that most of the time that's not true. Especially now.

A lot of time I feel like I am supposed to be funny, pretty, outgoing, intellectual, graceful, and so many other things that may or may not be true about me. The fact is, none of those things are supposed to be the foundation of my security. Actually, they aren't secure at all. My personality changes and I go through different seasons of my life. Having those qualities or not having them isn't supposed to define me. I become insecure when I feel like I'm not good enough in those various aspects of my life because I've tried to make them the foundation of my worth.

But, reality is, I'm not perfect. I'm not supposed to be. I am a mess a lot of the times and you know what, that's okay. My insecurity about this has officially gotten out of control. If you're a person who knows what that feels like, you'd know how sucky it is.

I'm always telling people about how valuable they are because it's true and I see that. I see your value. I see that everyone of you is made for a great purpose and that your story is beautiful in its own way, through whatever brokenness you've experienced.

The thing is, I don't think it is fair or just for me to say that everyone is important if I don't even believe that about myself. How can I ever tell you that you are beautiful when I can't even look myself in the mirror and tell myself that? What do I know about forgiveness and love if I haven't forgiven myself and refuse to love myself? If I don't believe that God can work through me, how in the world can I help you believe that He can work through you?

So, this is me, going on a self-declared journey on a rediscovery of my value. I used to know my value, or at least I thought I did. But, I forgot to remind myself every day, every moment that I am created, loved, and valued by the God of the universe. Feel free to do the same.