Love - Musiq Soulchild

What do I do now, my love? You feel so far away. Actually, I don’t even feel you. Are you even still there? Were you even there in the first place? Does love even exist?

Love. Funny. So many people talk about it but real love is sacred, pure, holy, good. This love they’re talking about isn’t love at all. Its value is diminished and people brush it off as not a big deal. It is no where close to pure. It is the opposite of holy and rather than bringing goodness it brings destruction. If what they call love is true, then I don’t want any part of it. I don’t want to fall in love. I don’t want to be loved. I don’t want to love. But if what they call love isn’t true and there is something more, then I’m all in. That love is a lie. So where do I find legitimate love? Isn’t that what we’re all searching for? Meaning, purpose, to love and to be loved.

I know that You exist, my love. It has to be true. If true love exists, and You are true love, then I want You and only You. Forget this fake junk everyone keeps trying to throw at me. That’s bull. It is so far from truth that it is hard to speak about it without using stronger language.

But, love, where are you? Why can’t I feel you? Oh. I’m looking in the wrong places for you. Oh my love, I am so sorry. No wonder I feel empty. No wonder I am confused and torn apart. Love is what I desire. So let me stop looking for love where it doesn’t exist. But, my love, I am starting to feel you now. In my weakness and in my brokenness is where I always find you. Waiting for me, You don’t even say “I told you so.” You have every right to cast me away. To refuse to forgive me and to deny blessing me with your true love. This hurts, my love. It hurts to be broken. It hurts to be weak but if this pain is what it takes to know you more, break me. Leave me naked and abandoned by my idols so I can know how whole I feel with you, my love.

I’m scared, my love. I’m scared you will see my scars when I become naked before you. I’m scared you will see what I’ve done and realize how unworthy I am.

I’m not confused, beloved. I call you worthy and I only speak truth. Do not insult my perfection by calling my creation unworthy. You are worthy, created one. I have made you for good. I made love for good. Don’t give up hope in love, child. You will see. Turn to me, beloved child. Seek me, seek real love. I am real love. I am working all things together for your good. I know this hurts, but you will see. You will see in the end that this pain is working for your good. I love you and I will never abandon you. I never have.